I have a cold

This past weekend, I’ve been suffering from a cold so disgusting I did a test on myself and I am now 94.3% snot. I haven’t soiled this much Kleenex since I was 14 and managed to score a copy of Playboy with pictures of Pamela Anderson on the centre pages. In my last hours before I liquify, I’ve been lying in my bedroom, reading and watching stuff, trying to absorb as much Earth culture as possible.

I watched Alien Vs. Predator – okay, I didn’t say the best Earth culture – and found Alexa Woods (played by Sanaa Lathan) wholly unattractive. The shield and spear made from alien body parts probably didn’t help much, but she was clearly supposed to be eye candy, and, well, 20th Century Fox, I want you to know your casting agents failed you. By pure coincidence, I recently read the first Batman Vs. Predator comic book. It was written by Dave Gibbons way back in 1991 and featured pencils and inks from the then relatively uknown Andy and Adam Kubert. I was expecting it to be a bit of fun, but actually I was seriously impressed. Now I can’t stop thinking of possible match ups I’d like to see. Blade Vs. Alien? Riddick Vs. Alien? Predator Vs. Diabetes?

I’ve also been reading lots of The Spirit (both Will Eisner’s original series and Darwyn Cooke’s notable DC revamp), which is making me slowly more and more depressed about the upcoming movie. Possibly as depressed as I am about the upcoming Watchmen movie, which is a Sylvia Plath while writing The Bell Jar level of depression. You probably already know that, following the success of the Sin City movie, Frank Miller has been given the green light to write and direct the Spirit movie. Judging from the trailer, Miller has decided to adopt a similar approach to the one Warren Beatty took with Dick Tracy. What I don’t understand, though, is why Miller has decided to strain The Spirit through Sin City and produce a bizarre, hybrid piece of shit. What’s with making it black and white? That’s not what’s needed, is it?

Hmmm, what else? Oh, yeah, I watched Chocolate. Not the Johnny Depp movie; that was Chocolat. Chocolate is a Thai martial arts film about an autisitic girl who learns martial arts from watching Ong Bak over and over. I’ve been excited about it for ages and wanted to watch it with Erin, but she decided she couldn’t wait and watched it without me (I will never forgive you, Erin). Thailand is the only country producing proper martial arts films anymore and Chocolate is a cinematic masterpiece.

I thought about putting a picture in this entry, but then I thought to hell with it, I don’t need pictures. Real men fill their blogs with big blocks of text like this one.

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One Response to “I have a cold”

  1. I’m sorry, darling.
    and you will forgive me. Oh, yes. You will forgive me.

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